Wednesday, September 1st, 2010
Welcome to my site!
I enjoy receiving comments and having the opportunity to dialogue about subjects relevant to our lives. Or to contact me personally/privately, Email me. I look forward to hearing from you!
I enjoy receiving comments and having the opportunity to dialogue about subjects relevant to our lives. Or to contact me personally/privately, Email me. I look forward to hearing from you!
November 7th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Congratulations on getting the site up. There’s so much good information here!
Elizabeth
November 9th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Thanks for helping me launch this site, Elizabeth. I highly recommend your services and want others to know how to contact you at hamneggs.net. I have technophobia and SO appreciate your calm presence and easy expertise in helping me set up this site. Your rates are reasonable and you made the process a pleasure!
November 10th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Jesus said that the whole law was wrapped up in the fundamental ideal of loving God and loving one’s neighbor as oneself. Loving self is prerequisite, part and parcel of loving others. Since it isn’t its own, separate commandment, it is inferred in the first. Love is an interaction. It is a give and take. To love, I must be loved. When I am loved, I love. God (according to the Apostle John) IS love. When love for myself gets swishing around my soul, it finds its way out to others. The challenge is how to get the love in. Self-acceptance and self-love is at the heart of the message of good news whatever language, culture or verse you wish to clothe it in. Jesus said his true disciples would be recognized by the love. He also said this love would be as pure and as powerful towards one’s enemies as one’s friends: a love that would die for the whole world. As an interfaith minister, I find a communion and fellowship with those who love. Religious labels mean nothing to me. I look past the brand name to read the ingredients on the inside.
November 10th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Yes, yes, yes. I also work with families of all faiths. The trauma that children endure has a tremendous negative impact on their self-esteem. In other words, if a child cannot love him/herself, then s/he cannot accept a parents’ love, ergo, all relationships become entangled in a self-fulfilling prophecy of distrust. In order to regain self-love, one must undertake the task of facing inner ‘demons’, accepting them, and taking steps to leave them behind. Not for the faint of heart! Every faith speaks of the healing power of love, not the mere ‘feeling’ of love, but the results of loving, powerful actions.
November 10th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Response to Nov 10th blog. A great big ‘Amen’
November 11th, 2010 at 12:48 am
I daresay religious labels don’t mean anything to the Lord either! I love that you have found a way to holistically tie it all together. Preaching, teaching, dance, missions, loving God, loving yourself, loving others. And I love it! Btw, sorry I missed your birthday, so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! You’ve got to let me know if you’re ever up in the NY/NJ area. God bless, Faith
November 11th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Thanks, Faith. You are aptly named! And I see that you are due for a birthday, too, so happy birthday back at you. It’s heartwarming to hear from you and to hear that we are dancing to the same melody. We are becoming more of who we are. I’ll let you know if I’m up in your area. It would be wonderful to get together.
November 11th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Louise, you are a specialist in this department. Talk is cheap. You not only walk families through this process but have yourself, with your husband, chosen to experience the process through adoption…twice! You are in the arena all the time. Time and time again I wanted to throw up my hands in despair with one entrusted to my care. When I came up against that block, each time you opened a doorway for us to walk through. Your insight, sensitivity, support and knowledge were invaluable. Love is a labor for us at times because of our own inner blocks. But we come out on the other side with more humility, appreciation and experience. The holes made in our hearts let the love flow through, I guess.
November 11th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Thanks, Michael! I found it interesting during my study at All Faiths Seminary International that each religion has its fundamentalist, legalistic branch as well as its mystical, love-centered branch. The soul, whatever its milieu, gravitates towards the pole which expresses its concept of God. It gets confusing when these opposites are expressed from the same source. The Apostle James likened it to a spring which yields both sweet water and bitter. As imperfect parents, partners, friends, we groan when we see our inconsistencies as we keep growing towards the light. But the Pharisees actually gloried in their double-speak. They hated Jesus who proclaimed that God was good to ALL because of love’s intrinsic goodness.
November 13th, 2010 at 12:42 am
love the site hope your ok
November 19th, 2010 at 12:02 am
Thanks, Lesley. I am well and getting well-er!
November 23rd, 2010 at 8:37 pm
I just finished updating this website, putting each page into first, instead of third, person. This has been a therapeutic journey for me as I learn to own my life instead of pawning it off to someone else – be it God, a spiritual leader, a cause, a partner, or an endeavor. Some have trouble seeing themselves as part of a larger whole. They miss the joy of self-sacrifice, community, and a spirit larger than themselves. Others (like me) are happy to do and give for something outside of self and are challenged when it comes to accepting being a separate entity. I don’t like separation! I believe we are all part of each other and a grander scheme of things. But that doesn’t mean I should run away from myself and the inner worlds I contain. Jesus told us to turn our eyes inwardly(“the kingdom of God is within”) as well as outwardly to those in need. I keep taking steps in that terrifying journey within. This is the ultimate space odessey as far as I am concerned! As I overcome inner fears, I take greater steps into the outside world, and hopefully bring some strength and wisdom with me.
November 29th, 2010 at 3:11 am
Linda,
I have enjoyed reading every word on your website and blog. Congratulations! I know this giant step will lead to many great opportunities for helping others. I am so blessed to know you!
Donna
November 29th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Thank you, Donna! You have been such an encouragement to me. Thank you for starting up the Coffee and Contacts (Women’s Power Networking) chapter in Hillsborough. It has been just what I have needed!The power comes from the understanding and love. It is a refreshing reminder of what a true support group can do for each individual. I’ve seen woman after woman come into her own through the group. Usually the work begins underground as the internal root system soaks in the care and acceptance. I’ve seen many, including myself, come week after week just to enjoy the fellowship while still feeling lost at sea. Then gradually the inner strength gathers to take one step, then another, then another. Some have “graduated” from our group because they’ve given the many incoming clients that time slot. Others traveled from afar to get the needed support and are now strong enough on their own and/or have formed their own support system. Well done! As I have said before, this site is a huge step for me. I feel like I’m coming out of a self-imposed closet to finally let the world know where I’m at. I did a lot of public speaking, traveling nationally and internationally, representing another organization. Now I simply represent myself which, hopefully, helps others find their own voice. We each stand for the truth we believe in. I’m attempting to speak my truth.
November 29th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Wonderful website for us who are not religious, but still have a personal belief in something higher than ourself and nature. Religion is manmade ,- most religious leaders are great manipulators and how I hate that.
November 29th, 2010 at 6:58 pm
So true, Svanhild. It took me 2 years in personal therapy, then Life Coaching certification with NLP training and then studying for my Master of Divinity at All Faiths Seminary to put all the pieces together. I had to separate my early formative experiences from my faith in order to differentiate between the psychological and the spiritual. When I saw my own neurosis and coping mechanisms due to childhood impressions and suppressed reactions, I was also able to see the purely human in others, especially in those who had the greatest effect on my spiritual beliefs. I am still bringing old memories and new understanding to the forefront of my thinking to open up my heart and mind to greater reality. By sifting through the negatives, I am coming to see the big picture in a clearer way which also enables me to get past old blocks and reactivate positive neural connections. Plugging into the Spirit within again has given back to me all that I gained in my spiritual journey minus the bull crap! The Holy Spirit has been more than faithful in putting scripture with scripture, re-aligning my soul to more accurate context and healthy application.
November 29th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
You are wiser than ever ! My mother is very ill with canser,-and it’s so clear to me what really counts in life. It’s the unconditional love that cares and spends time . Strong friendships are of the greatest value. My mother is not afraid of death,-she has never been envolved with religion,-but has all her life been a true human being,- with a silent confidence and faith in something higher than ourselves.
November 29th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Svanhild, it’s so interesting to hear you speak of watching your non-religious mother face eternity with peace in her heart. I had a similar experience when my mother passed from this world (also from cancer). Her Unitarian minister, friends from many diverse ethnic and religious groups, her neighbors, children and grandchildren were by her bed during the process. She died at home with dignity and deep faith that I am only now coming to fully appreciate. She supported me when at 21 I chose outside of her personal belief system and then again when I later made a radical departure from my 30 year marriage and religious affiliation. She showed me unconditional love in contrast to a “spiritual father” who in his paranoia and fear turned his back on me. She died in grace showing me what real faith is all about.
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:28 pm
A. I’ve been meditating on the disillusionment that comes when a religious leader, influential family member or any important personal mentor fails to live up to their own standards. It can have a crushing effect on the follower. For me, going through the cognitive therapeutic process was a key to recovery. I should mention that I was such an emotional wreck when my support systems caved in, I wasn’t really cognitive about anything! I took a year off to just cry my heart out, hike gorgeous trails and dance off the stress. The therapist whom I eventually found recommended “The Journey from Abandonment to Healing” by Susan Anderson, helping me connect with my innermost self and gradually work through the relationships I endured/enjoyed from childhood on. It really put things into perspective and helped me stop avoiding the deep pain that I had suppressed as a child. Many of my adult coping mechanisms became unnecessary as I learned to embrace and then let go of formative traumatic experiences. It is an ongoing journey and an intriguing and liberating one. It has made me NOT AFRAID TO FACE THE NEGATIVE AND PAINFUL. I may procrastinate like hell in taking that next step, but I wait with myself until all of me is ready to go down the next dark hallway. Light has always greeted me on the other side. I needed a professional to help me begin. I still need outward supports and consistently loving self-talk to continue on this healing way. It is a life adventure and, for me, more engrossing than any video game, mountain peak, intellectual endeavor or business enterprise! It has become weirdly fun to follow the path of pathology and emerge more whole. It helps me take responsibility and control of my own emotional well being so that I do not blame or depend upon others for becoming who I really am.
December 7th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
I figure that the quest to become ‘whole’ is shared by all humankind. And most of us have ‘holes’ that began sometime earlier in life. I recently published a children’s adoption book, “Rufus, The Rapper,” to help children who have experienced family disruption (such as foster homes and orphanage placements). It is a sweet story that children can readily relate to…and even more importantly, that parents can recognize in the face of challenging behaviors. It’s available through Amazon.
December 9th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Louise, I LOVE “Rufus, The Rapper”! The illustrations draw you in and by making the story about an adorable puppy, the focus is off the parent. You always helped me understand what was going on in my therapeutic foster child so that I could get beyond my own reactions and feelings of inadequacy. Compassion is released once we get out of the cycle of frustration and guilt to really see what is going on. I highly recommend “Rufus, The Rapper” by Louise Fleischman for foster parents or anyone grappling with abandonment and other attachment issues. My foster child was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder as well as Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Your approach really helped us deal with the underlying traumas behind these behaviors. Great example of why it’s important to see the bigger picture using a therapeutic viewpoint.
December 9th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Is it really important to face the painful ? I don’t like digging,-
December 9th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
B. The second point of becoming emotionally healthy is embracing what is POSITIVE! Along with the sad, scary, damaging aspects of our life journey, there is a well of positive feelings and experiences. I learned principles of neural linguistic programming while taking my professional Life Coach certification training which helped me retrieve the wonderful, affirming highs of my life’s highlights. We all have them yet they can become buried in the garbage heap where we tossed out the hurtful or no longer useful. Just as therapy set me on a journey back into time to rescue the hurting child, these NLP techniques helped me recover and reclaim past moments of triumph and strength. I need to own my own pain and I need to own my own joy! Dancing is particularly helpful to me in reconnecting with the positives of my childhood. We did international folk dancing as a family. I started modern dance at age 5 and ballet just a few years later. When I dance, I become a child again, in the best sense of the word. That exuberance, energy, and wonderment come back to me every time I open the file of memory connected to music and movement. I can bring past energy into the present any time I want when I know how to trigger where the joy is. Maybe my parents, both biological and spiritual, were not perfect but they served me and often served me well. Growing up into the recognition of their feet of clay does not mean that I have to abandon the good things I got. The good things are in ME and I still own them. Even if who they appeared to be was an illusion/delusion, it was real enough to help me in some way. Even watching a movie and identifying with a happy family life, triumphant experience or thrilling release encodes a positive experience into our neurological pathways to become part of our emotional wealth. We can draw upon that deposit whenever we want. What’s real is what’s real to ME. That can work for me or against me. I want it to work for me. I have warm, fuzzy feelings towards all those with whom I have had positive experiences. Though my relationship with each one has gone through the metamorphosis of growth, the emotional photo albums of my times with them continue to reflect back their warmth to me. It has been so healing to rescue the good times from the trash pile. It has been helpful to acknowledge the good I’ve gained from those who have hurt me. Not because it excuses them as abusers but because it gives me the power to keep the gifts they gave me! Why should I give that back?
December 9th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Svanu, I was just entering the “B” part of my inward journey tips when I saw your comment. No one really likes digging into the negativity of the past. It’s not an assignment we need to give ourselves. The parts of our past that need exploring come knocking on our door when it’s time to address them. If old voices and feelings do not trouble you, no need to go and try to find them. It’s when the voice of the past clouds our present experience and inhibits our future potential that we need to take the time to listen. Do not pressure your own soul to “tell all”. Let it come up naturally. Your inner wisdom knows when you are ready to face an issue. That’s when emotions previously suppressed will bubble up and refuse to keep quiet. Compassionately sit with those feelings and the memories they are attached to. Just listening is often enough. You will also know if you need someone else along for that leg of remembering. Some of my stuff hurt so bad that I needed someone to hold my hand in the present as my inner world drew me into the past. I needed a safe place with someone experienced in this work.
December 9th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Well what a nice website. It’s good to see you again. I like the things your doing it looks amazing
December 9th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Thanks, Major! We all keep growing, don’t we? It’s good to “see” you again, too!
December 9th, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Love the blog Linda! It has been refreshing and reassuring watching you crawl, walk, run and leap through your journey over the past several years. You were a pioneer for many of us! I believe we do have to face the negatives to redeem the positives out of the “trash” from our past. Surprisingly, the negatives in our lives were many times actually positives, transforming us and setting us free.
Keep writing – you definitely have a gift with words!
December 9th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
So true, Doris! Thanks. We’re learning to face our fears and embrace what we thought would kill us. I’ve just been listening to an amazing church service message by Robert Rutherford (Donald Finnie posted it today on Facebook) that talks about the use of fear tactics that pastors use to manipulate their congregations. It’s incredible to listen to. He compared the fire of hell that preachers use to control people with the fire which revealed the fourth man in Daniel’s story. Talk about taking a negative and watching it become a positive!
December 22nd, 2010 at 6:37 am
Hi Linda,
It has been a long time but it is good to read your words of life and the journey you and others communicate thru this blog. So much rings true for me as I read your words shifting thru your life. I will continue to read and someday it would be wonderful to connect.
December 22nd, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Oh, Leslie, how lovely to hear from you. I am grateful that I have been able to retain the “life” (probably more accurately, life has retained me!) so that it’s a resurrection song that I sing instead of a funeral dirge. There is a time to weep and to mourn. I thank God that time has passed for now and that the time of singing has come. Those whom I held dear in my heart (like you) still retain that status (which rhymes with Stratos, so it especially applies to you) and I deeply comforted when I am able to re-connect. Looking forward to it.
June 9th, 2011 at 7:06 pm
C. A third entry on the subject of wholeness:
After first going on an internal adventure into the past to locate and release old fears and hurts, I subsequently became engrossed in rediscovering encoded positive memories that can be activated for present use. The third step was the decision to take the plunge into spirituality from a new perspective. I had previously studied the Old and New Testaments for many years. Now I sought to branch out through my studies with All Faiths Seminary International to take a look at the history and universality of man’s spiritual quest. I hoped to find out whether the spirituality I experienced in the form of the Christianity previously embraced was still valid outside of that context. I quickly discovered the answer to be a resounding “yes”! With every class, book, and written assignment, I touched the dimension of Spirit. Just as the God of answered prayer can be contacted in any language, I came to realize that the structure of a religious context may lead to a spiritual experience but cannot define or encompass it. It simply IS. Some address this dimension as “The Universe”, or “Spirit”, or “God”. Since the experience is real, it seems logical to the seeker/finder to swear by the means he/she came to this discovery of truth. A teacher, a denomination, a practice, a vocabulary, a location, or even a culture can be elevated to supreme status as a result of the electrifying reception and transmission of the newly-found reality. And if there is a loss of faith in said structure, a rejection of the validity and continuation of spiritual experience gained by its means may also seem in order. It has been a wonderful journey to conduct my own spiritual forensics following a faith burn-out. Picking through the ashy remains of all I had experienced and learned and running them through the laboratory tests of diverse filtration processes has given me conclusive evidence which upholds the best of what I had previously come to believe. And it has also exposed the fraudulent practices and manipulative tactics of religious power mongers. Seeing the universality of man’s spiritual quest opened my eyes to the universality of man’s co-existing quest for power. “T’was grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved”.This line from the hymn ‘Amazing Grace’ tells the story of fear driving a soul to surrender to love. The Apostle John affirmed that perfect love casts out fear. Yet some try to conquer their fears by conquering others and making material conquests. The Apostle Paul said that the love of money was the root of all evil. Money signifies a man-made means to security, significance and power. The wheat grows among the tares. The true body of believers forming in the world today grows in the midst of a corporate mentality which seeks to institutionalize the spirit of man and God, use natural resources for profit, and corral energies to fuel selfish agendas. The innocence of childlike faith and credulity, the pristine goodness and power of the earth, the mystical forces of invisible realities are being bought and sold, often packaged under the very labels which we hold dear. To expose the motive and material raises furor on all sides because that which we hold most sacred seems under attack. Each of us must make that personal reconaissance with the Real in order to have the discernment required to differentiate packaging from content. A journey into the spiritual brings us full circle back to the natural world and those in it. It embues every interaction, issue, and decision with a sense of its full significance and purpose. Our bodies, the environment, national and international relations and policies are an extension and a mirror of what we actually believe. Is my body the temple of the Holy Spirit? Am I really called to be a steward of this earth? Am I my brother’s keeper? Is peace on earth truly the message coming from on high? Speaking for myself, the voice within cries, “Yea”. And “Yay”! We are called to union and communion. If we can access power by splitting the atom, imagine the greater power to be found in the act of uniting on every level of existence. I Corinthians 13 love is the “better way” that has been shown. Only the meek will have anything left to inherit.
June 9th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
For those who visit this site, I’ve been posting lately on my facebook page more often than here. Feel free to check out my personal facebook page for recent posts and to friend me, as well. Please include a personal note about who you are if you make the friend request so I will know that it is not spam.
June 21st, 2011 at 6:36 pm
God Bless You And Return Millions Blessing For The Grace Of Jesus-Christ You Invest….I Was A Missionnary In Hungary
Between 1996-1999 And Graduate From Baltimore In 2002.
God Lead Me Outside Of Greater Grace In 2003-2004…
I Am In Montreal ..And get Married In 2006 ..And We attend A Spanish Church very Charismatic And Very In Fire In Jesus. And Because Of Work We Have A Small Catholic Church Close To Work. To Thank God For Everythings.My Husband Is From Chili Country….Thank You For Great Love..Compassion And Creativity….Thank You To Invest Love And His Word…I Am So Thankfull For Your Special Concern And Love…I Cherish This In My Heart…Thank You Linda…And Pray For The Love Of God For My New Life With My Husband…Maryse From Montreal…I Have To Grow In Love..In Security And Maturity….I AM THANKFULL…
June 22nd, 2011 at 12:13 am
Thank you for writing, Maryse. Good to hear what you’ve been up to. May you be blessed in your new life!
August 1st, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Wow linda! Its been nice reading through your inspired words of wisdom which give hope and courage. I think African women and pastors need to hear this. I pray that one day you would be able to touch this part of the world and talk in a conference. Shalom to you.
August 2nd, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Thank you, Pastor Muzamai, for your kind words.
September 22nd, 2011 at 7:03 am
You are my inspiration, I possess few web logs and often run out from post :). “To die for a religion is easier than to live it absolutely.” by Jorge Luis Borges.
September 27th, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I don’t understand your website since it is in Polish but I do like the quote you sent!